Lipstick on Bones

i have a foot in two worlds,
i am the biggest and the smallest.
looked up to and looked down on,
admired and defiled,
recalled and forgotten.
i am not enough for the air-bound leviathans
clogging my skyline,
and i am far too good
for the insects in my path.
my disposition is my downfall,
and i tend to relapse
into the same frame of mind,
every single time...
a word brings back a sensory memory,
and a name strikes panic through my limbs.
because i was hoping that i could freeze time,
until maybe i am flawless again,
until maybe i grow a few hundred miles...
so that i will be taller than you...
and you'll forget everyone below.